The Importance of Self-Esteem

December 9, 2020 / Source: The Bizz USA
By Elizabeth Insuasti; Edited by Adya Kumar

What is Self-esteem?
Self-esteem is how you view yourself. It describes what you believe about your abilities, skills, and limitations. It is your overall opinion of who you are as a person. 

Having a healthy self-esteem means feeling good about who you are and believing you deserve respect from others. In contrast, an unhealthy self-esteem evokes negative thoughts of oneself. You give little consideration to your own ideas, and you might doubt whether you are good enough or not. 

Self-esteem is shaped from the beginning of our upbringings all the way to the ends of our lives. This vital aspect of ourselves, our self-perception, is affected by our thoughts, relationships, and experiences. Although it can appear  to be out of our control, self-esteem can be easily controlled and improved on our own accord. Taking that step toward healthy-self esteem requires an analysis of your limiting beliefs. 

Common Misconceptions
Often, high self-esteem tends to be mistaken for arrogance or complacency. Finding comfort in who you are as a person does not mean you never needed to change or improve some area of your life. Healthy self-esteem brings about positive changes in one’s life and consequently improves relationships with others. Having more compassion toward yourselves can also make it easier to be compassionate towards others. Therefore, it is wrong to think that boosting your self-esteem leads to narcissism, arrogance, or pride.

​Self-reflection
To understand the level of self-esteem you possess I suggest asking these reflection questions to yourself . 

• What comes to mind when looking at yourself?
• Are your thoughts self-sabotaging or uplifting? 
• Are they filled with compliments or critiques on your appearance? 
• Is it encouraging or speaking to your fears? 

Body confidence is important when improving your opinion of yourself, and is often the first barrier to break to fully love yourself. But it is also true that your situation and progression in life affects how you view yourself.

• How accomplished do you feel? 
• Do you feel capable of reaching your goals in life? 
• Define success to you.

Success is relative. 
If you want to be successful or you use that word to talk about your future goals, define it! Is it financial stability, fame, recognition, raising a family, a long laundry list of achievements, etc. No matter what success means to you, it is vital that you understand that success is relative. Everyone is living their own paths with a different purpose, goal, or definition of achievement.

• As you live life, remember that small victories are still victories. Gradual progress is still progress and one step closer to your goals. Don’t feel discouraged if it feels things are taking a long time. 
• It is vital to work at your own pace. Following the pace of others will not benefit you as you have your own unique path to success.  
• Strive to do better each and every day, no matter how long it takes you will get there if you exhibit consistency.  

Happiness 
The best metric for success. Remember that although it is crucial to have goals and to pursue them and to have passions, life is unpredictable. Don't let a timeline of your goals determine your success or happiness. The first step to effectively working toward your own goals is learning to be contemptuous in every situation. Personal success shouldn't be dictated by societal standards. Be true to yourself and who you are, your values, and what is important to you. Your happiness should dictate your success. Focus on yourself first!

Low Self-Esteem=Comparing

• Stop comparing yourself to others because it will only leave you feeling empty inside.
• Everyone has their own unique abilities, passions, strengths and weaknesses.
• It is natural to have different paths, all leading to a different end goal.
• There are different ways to get to the same exact point!

Mistakes happen!
You are human! You are not a robot who is perfect at everything. You will fail. So stop being afraid and embrace whatever it is head on. When you can do that and move on from it with ease, you will learn to not let little things hinder your path. You are not the only one making mistakes, do you really think everyone else is perfect? 

In order to believe in a healthy and realistic image of yourself, active changes and steps need to be taken. It is not about being self-centered, but rather acknowledging the importance of respecting yourself, flaws, and all.  Some of the things that can shape someone’s self-esteem includes:

• Personal beliefs
• Society‘s beliefs, such as those reflected in the media
• Home, school, and work interactions
• Possessing an injury, disability, and illness
• Age

Maintaining relationships with those close to you, whether it be your family, friends, coaches, teachers, etc, is vital for self-esteem. Messages from your past experiences and relationships have the ability to form your beliefs today. 

These past messages don't have to become your destiny. The biggest impact on self-esteem is the one thing within your control, your own thoughts. 

Challenge yourself if your focus is on flaws rather than strengths. Reestablish your view and balance the opinion of yourself.  

Understand where you fall on the spectrum:

Low self-esteem. 

You don't consider your own opinions in situations and dwell on perceived weaknesses. You hardly acknowledge your strengths, skills, and assets. You believe that others are more successful and capable than you. Compliments are hard for you to accept and a fear of failure results in difficulty pursuing school or work.

Healthy/ High self-esteem. 

You hold a positive and balanced view of yourself. You recognize your flaws but still give credit to your opinions and abilities.  

Remember that boasting and having a superiority complex isn't a sign of too much self-esteem. This tends to result from insecurity and low self-esteem, such as how having a toxic masculinity excessively boasts one’s manhood to combat insecurities revolving around being too “sensitive” or “soft”. 

With healthy self-esteem you:

• Often share your needs and opinions in a resourceful way
• Make decisions confidently 
• Form positive and enriching relationships — and less likely to stay in damaging ones
• Act less critically towards  yourself and others
• Build resilience and persevere through any trial

​How to Boost your Self-Esteem. 

1. Master a new skill.
2. List your accomplishments.
3. Do something creative.
4. Get clear on your values.
5. Challenge your limiting beliefs.
6. Go out of your typical comfort zone.
7. Let negative people go.
   
8. Eliminate self-criticism and introduce self-compassion
   
9. BE YOUR BIGGEST CHEERLEADER